Why I'm a Diehard Rays Fan (and Closet Lightning Fan) - My Manifesto

For the first 10 years of their life, the "Devil Rays" (as they were once infamously known) were the laughingstock of baseball, and arguably all of the sports world. They had Wade Boggs and what is considered his greatest moment, his 3,000th hit, though he would have had that anywhere; it was just happenstance he was wearing black, purple, and green and playing in a perpetually-maligned dome. They had the "Hit Show" - Jose Conseco, Fred McGriff, Vinny Castilla, and Greg Vaughn - which, needless to say, didn't live up to their hype. They never had an out-of-last-place season - let alone a winning season - save for one season, 2004, when they finished 4th in the AL East. They had homegrown stars - Josh Hamilton, Joe Kennedy, Aubrey Huff, Randy Winn - that went on to have much better careers after leaving their first home. They had an owner who not only refused to open his wallet, but also refused to allow cheering, screaming, and any type of loud noises anywhere in "his" stadium; anyone caught breaking this "rule" would be asked politely to quiet down, then on the next attempt to hush the "rabble-rouser" they would be evicted.

Yet, with all that documented extensively, I made a seemingly irrational decision one day in September 2007: I became a shareholder in the team of endless misery. Apparently, I am - myself - a glutton for punishment. After I signed the paperwork and handed over the check, the first thing I said to myself: "What the hell did I just do...?"

I grew up in Pedricktown, New Jersey. I'm sure - unless you live in Salem or Gloucester counties - you've never heard of it. It is, however, the most-rural suburb of Philadelphia, and as a member of the Delaware Valley, your sports allegiances are already dictated to you in the delivery room: Sixers, Flyers, Eagles, and Phillies are your only choices, so choose wisely or face the possibility of adoption. You're forgiven if you choose not to like any of the aforementioned teams, so long as you don't like any other team in their respective sports league. Some people believe in a bastardized version of the Amish's Rumspringa, where when you are old enough to think for yourself (usually anywhere between 9-13 years old), you can choose a different team in any and/or all sports. However, once you choose, you are bound to follow them ad infinitum. This explains how, in an area that is very staunchly against any team in any sport's division rivals, you will find some "brave" Cowboys, Devils, Braves, and Knicks fans.

I stayed true and exclusive to my "birth-rite" teams (though I never really followed the NBA to any great extent, so my indifference toward the Sixers is forgiven by most) until about 2006 - 3 years after I moved to St. Pete. Up until that time, I refused to set foot in the "Dumb Dome" and my baseball fix was obtained in the short month of March on the open, grassy surface of Bright House Field in Clearwater or the occasional Phillies game on Fox and Sun Sports (when they played the Marlins).

I got my hockey fix going to the two games per year the Flyers played at the St. Pete Times Forum and would only go to other games if I got free tickets from work, convinced friends (like Kevin and "Rabid Nick") I knew would like them to come with me, and I'd get to cheer against the Bolts (be it the Maple Leafs or the Mighty Ducks); the only exception to the "cheer against the Bolts" was when they played the Atlantic Division teams...for obviously-selfish reasons.

My football fix would come with going to the local Eagles bar, The Bull Horn on USF's campus, every week with my friend from work, Immani, that I found, too, likes the Birds. Even if it was "all-the-way" in Tampa, I was there for almost every game - unless it was shown on local Fox, CBS, or ABC TV so I could watch with my mom. You could always catch me there with my Irving Fryar, then David Akers Super Bowl, jersey, chanting "Fly, Eagles, Fly!" with the rest of them.

Never in a million years would I root against any of them, as they were my teams, my link to the snow-covered region I left back on that cold day of March 16, 2003.

Then I visited Al Lang Field.

In 2007, my then-roommate Becky suggested, instead of going to Clearwater in March, I should check-out the ballpark by the Bay in Downtown St. Pete. I just started my new job down the street the May prior, so I could park at work and walk over, making it even more convenient. Sure it may not be as new and shiny as Bright House Field, but Progress Energy Park (as Al Lang Field is now called) had the old Florida charm all the other spring training stadiums combined couldn't even muster, she said.

So, I took her up on her suggestion. We went to the first meeting of the Devil Rays and the Phillies that year at Al Lang, and what I was saw on the field impressed me and gave me hope for the future of the team. I knew this team wasn't far off from finally, after years of mediocrity, being a contender. I was watching history in the making, and I loved everything I saw.

And I wasn't talking about the Phillies.

The Devil Rays played a style of baseball I hadn't seen on Broad Street since I was young. They had guys like Carl Crawford and Delmon Young that were aggressive on the bases, they had guys like Carlos Peña and Akinori Iwamura that could hit the side of the Mahaffey Theater in Al Lang's outfield if they tried, and they had starting pitching out of Scott Kazmir and James Shields that made opposing batters cringe. Their bullpen, with people like Chad Orvella and Jae Kuk Ryu however, was anemic - to put it mildly - and made high-quality pitchers like Grant Balfour and J.P. Howell look just as bad. Once that was fixed, I knew they were going to be not just good, but very good. They showed up the Phillies that day, and as we walked back to my work parking lot, I told Becky, "Sure, I'll go to more games down here with you."

With the highly-publicized entrance of a new manager and ownership (the "Under Construction" campaign was extremely visible the entire 2005 season), they turned Tropicana Field from the "Dumb Dome" to "The Trop". Gone was the empty space on the walls that made it feel like the inside of an oil container or warehouse, and the redesign made it feel more like what a baseball field should feel like: large, easy-to-see stats boards and scoreboards, advertisements that felt more like those at Yankee Stadium, and what was once the largest-HDTV in baseball. On- and off-the-field, it felt like baseball finally arrived at the Trop...9 years late.

Despite Peña setting the team record for most HRs in a season (as well as leading the AL) and winning the AL's Comeback Player of the Year Award, Kazmir having the most strikeouts in the AL (and most in 162 games for all of baseball; Jake Peavy needed 163 days to beat him when San Diego played Arizona in a tie-breaker game), and Delmon Young being 2nd in voting for AL Rookie of the Year, the team still finished poorly: 66-96, worst in the majors, thanks in large part to the bullpen's over 6.00 ERA, worst in the majors in over 50 years. But the stage was set for greatness, and after going to over 20 regular season games through the course of the season - even when they took their tailspin in late June into August - I decided to invest in their future.

I became a season-ticket holder of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

"Sure hope you know what you're doing...." my conscience and checkbook both said. I'm sure glad I did, though, for - as everyone knows by now - the newly-christened "Tampa Bay Rays" kept winning and kept winning, making the playoffs for the first time in their history (not to mention it was their first-ever winning season), then continued to surprise as they went to the World Series in 2008 against (holy shit!) my Phillies. For the record, I wore my Devil Rays jersey - I got it on super-clearance at the end of the 2007 season for $50 (normally $200) - with my Rays hat only because my friend, Brad, was in town from Philly, so I had to balance out his Philly love. However, for Game 2, I wore my Phillies shirt with Rays hat. I didn't care whom won, as my "impossible dream" scenario came true.

I'm still a season-ticket holder of the Rays to this day. Even as the prices kept going up - and my pay at work went down - I cut corners to make it work, as I'm not about to give up my tickets; I love my Rays too much. I still love my Phillies and always will, but let's be honest: what do the Phillies do for my community? They don't help with youth sports funding in Tampa. They don't visit schools in New Port Richey to help add to the reading programs. They don't contribute $100 million to the economy of St. Petersburg every year. The closest they come to me in normal years during the season is Miami.

The Rays do all that, and more, for my new home. In that area, they are even greater than the 2008 World Series champions, and it took me a trip to Al Lang Field to finally admit that to myself.

The Lightning, on a smaller scale, contribute in the same aspects, but I don't carry a torch for them nearly as much as I do for the Rays; I don't however, boo them when I go anymore, and only cheer against them when Philly's in town. I can safely say I'm still a Flyers fan first, but I enjoy getting my hockey fix at the Forum on days that the "Orange Crush" doesn't take over the stands. So, in that aspect, I guess it makes me a Lightning fan, but don't expect me to choose between the two: it's not a choice - Broad Street Bullies all-the-way!

I can't say the same if I had to choose between the Rays and Phillies, nor should I have to. They never play each other except in spring training, occasional interleague games, and the World Series. They have (for the most-part, if I'm any indication) completely separate fan bases that work differently, but are just as passionate as each other. But most importantly, they hold different places in my heart: the Phillies represent my past and all the great things I miss about it, while the Rays represent my present and all the even greater things and people I know now (and good friends I go to games with on a regular basis, like "McLovin" and James). So, that being said, I guess I'd have to say if I had to choose, sorry Uncle Cholly, but Merlot Joe and his team of superheroes are my number ones.

Sure, they may play in a nationally-loathed but locally-loved dome with catwalks people refuse to understand in front of crowds deemed "unacceptable" by suits in a faraway city that has a fan base with a 40+ year headstart to grow to today's sizes with a media that laments their eventual removal from the area, but the people who preach to me and other converted fans that those aspects should be cause enough not to even like them just don't get it. You can't have it both ways: "you can't forsake your birth-rite" but "they don't deserve a team since they can't support them." For a team that's oldest "birth-rite" fan is only 13 years old today, it's impossible to sustain a team with only kids under 13 in the stands. So, I'm doing my part and supporting my team, and damn anyone who tries to pull that "birth-rite" crap on me. Face it, reality dictates you cannot have it both ways, so the sooner you realize that, the sooner I can possibly convert you too, if only for a day. As with me, a day is possibly all you need to change your thinking forever.

I still have never been to Raymond James Stadium and have no intention of going anytime soon, in case you're wondering.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

So, another baseball season starts tonight. Gone are the dark days - between the Super Bowl and Opening Day - of being forced to watch random basketball games on TNT and ABC to pass the time (I, personally love hockey, so I will not call it, as John Saunders - a Canadian and avid hockey fan himself, I might add - from ESPN's Sports Reporters recently mused,

"Hockey will always be sports' ugly step-sister. Even those who don't really care seem to go out of their way to dislike the game."

Though, sadly, I can see his point most other Americans' attitudes of indifference toward it.) and watching the same exact dunk or 3-point shot on SportsCenter every waking moment. The smell of grass, hot dogs, and Cracker Jacks have been hot and heavy in the air for a few weeks now with spring training steadily progressing in Florida and Arizona. And starting tonight, the Boys of Summer will return to their homes, be them ancient temples to the Baseball Gods, modern works of art, hyper-expensive replicas of their former selves, or impressive domes people love to hate, and we will be watching. But, do the overblown economics really dictate the game as much the press - and the fans of the smaller-market teams - lead you to believe? Have the fortunes of all 30 teams really been decided before the games even count? If you listen to what Bud Selig tells you, yeah, and something needs to be done about it.

With the first pitch of the season being thrown in Boston against (who else?) dem Yanks, the chatter around the League right now is creating something of an obscure idea here in North America, but common in the rest of the world in their football leagues: rotating leagues. Now, all four North American major sports leagues (as well as lesser ones, like Major League Soccer and the Arena Football League) keep a static form of divisions; that is, they stay in the same league and division until the powers-that-be decide - for any myriad of reasons, ranging from geographical considerations to scheduling balance - to make a change. Over in Eurasia, however, what league you are playing in in any given year depends on how well or poorly you did the year prior. If you were the champion of Division II last year, you can move to Division I to try and see if you can win that one, too. If you sucked in Div. I after moving up, well, be thankful your team isn't being sent to Div. III instead.

Though MLB's proposal isn't as radical (no, teams like the Mets won't be sent to the Minors, though if they were, they'd probably be better off going straight to the Single-A Sally League), it would allow teams that are in "rebuilding years" - excluding the Mets - to move to a higher-grossing division to get more revenue share for said rebuilding by swapping with teams that are constantly competing against powerhouses and falling just short. The best example of this would be putting the Oakland A's in the AL "East" and letting the Tampa Bay Rays play in the AL "West" so they both get what they want: the A's would get more money for better players and a healthier future, while the Rays would have a chance at a division title without relying on the bad luck of other teams to make it happen (let's face it: the Rays were phenomenal in 2008, but the Yanks were just plain bad, which allowed the Rays to exploit that and make it to the Promised Land).

Proponents say, since a salary cap isn't in the cards anytime in the near future, this is the closest to parity we can get in baseball right now. I'm in the camp with the opponents, however. I believe constantly moving teams around year-to-year not only wreaks havoc on the schedule, but also fragments rivalries, which is truly what puts people in the stands. It also puts an undue burden on the team, causing them to under-perform. No longer is it a simple jog up the East Coast to play the other teams in the division; you're now flying out west for 36 games a year, playing with jet-lag 24 games more than the norm. Anyone who has crossed the country once had a hard enough time acclimating to the change once; imagine your own performance doing that up to 12 times in a 5 month period. No one should have to work under those types of conditions, even athletes.

A much better - and more controversial - solution would be to break up the two toughest teams in baseball, who are locked in eternal grudge match while the rest of the division suffers. Yes, I am talking about the AL East's Yanks and Red Sox. Yes, geographically, they are in the correct division, but by virtue of their bottomless wallets, they have pretty much owned the AL East and, by virtue of 2nd place in the division, the AL Wild Card for all but 7 of the 15 years the current format has been in play (1997 Orioles and 2008 Rays each won the division, and 1996 O's, 2000 Mariners, 2001 A's, 2002 Angels, and 2006 Tigers each won the WC). That means, more than half the time, both the Yankees and Red Sox will both be in the playoffs while the rest of the teams are on the sidelines.

The current system penalizes mid-market teams. Not every team has a ravenous fan base like New York and Boston, and the longer they're allowed to control the only two spots into the playoffs, the more it hurts the other teams by lost revenue streams in October and smaller fan bases at the perception of constant mediocrity (if you miss the playoffs, you suck, right?). Leaving those two to play each other for the same playoff spots year-in and year-out will soon do more damage to baseball than steroids ever could.

So, what we will do is have the Yankees and Mets swap leagues, with them going to the NL East and AL East, respectively. Right there, the parity is split between the two sides and breaks up the constant monopoly of the AL East lead positions. For those that say that would just monopolize the NL East (with 4-time division champ and 2-time pennant winner Philadelphia quickly becoming a dynasty) causing the same issue, have Philly and Pittsburgh swap, too. Yeah, it's not geographically correct, but that can be solved later with the addition of two more teams (see my previous post on the subject of expansion).

There, problem solved, and no need for inconsistency year-to-year. Why should other teams be penalized if the core problem is between two behemoths in a top-heavy division? Split those two up, and smaller-market teams will start winning thereby having more people coming to their games, helping MLB as a whole. But logic won't happen in Major League Baseball so long as Bud's still in charge. However, people have surprised me before, but I'm not holding my breath. Until the tides change, the Rays will just have to continue to win on low budgets, I guess.

You Only Live Twice: The Update

Hi gang! I'll keep this short and sweet as it's merely an update to my last post on the history and future of Al Lang Field. Well, I promised once I got a reply from the other St. Pete mayoral candidate, Kathleen Ford, I'd post it. So, without further ado, her reply, two weeks later, verbatim:

Hi, Jim,

I think the current mayor is attempting to enter into an agreement for the use of Al Lang Field. There was a visioning workshop last winter where residents discussed Al Lang Field's future potential uses. No plan has been passed. As you know, the City has a rich history of spring training baseball. There is nothing in our current city charter that protects Al Lang Field (I helped draft such an amendment-see www.stpetepoww.com). I think the uses of our public waterfront should be decided by the citizens. Our beautiful waterfront is what sets us apart from most cities in Florida!

Kathleen

And there you have it. Read from it how you will, because it's definitely, in my opinion, open for interpretation.

Oh, and in case you're not paying attention...GO PHILS!!!

Expansion of an Institution

I'm ending my self-imposed moratorium on discussing baseball. It's a sport I love, as Kevin may argue, to a fault. It's one of the things I'm truly optimistic about in life and I can spend hours talking about it. It's one of the common denominators we all, as Americans, can relate to. Whether we love it or loathe it, we all respect it as America's Pastime. Yeah, football is more ingrained into the American psyche now, but that's just dumbed-down rugby. Basketball has Mayan and African origins, and hockey is all thanks to the Great White North. Baseball, whether or not related to cricket in its purest form, is, like mom and apple pie, Americana in its essence.

The love of the game is what makes Major League Baseball the second-most profitable sports league in the world (behind the NFL). Japan has its own Major Leagues, as well as most of Southeast Asia and some European nations. It's a simple game, really: hit the ball, run to the bases, make it home without getting caught. It's how it's done, as well as the length of the season, that adds to the intrigue. The home run chases, the pitchers' duels, the trades: they all make a season interesting. Fans live and die with one of the 30 teams you remain loyal to season after season, as if they were some sects of a cult religion. You learn to hate the warring factions, even if you're not sure why there's animosity, simply because your father, and his father, and his father all did before you. You carry a torch for your mortal gods, no matter how well or how poorly they do. No other sport allows one team to have a wretched day and still be able to join the immortals of October, especially not the anointed football. "Baseball", as the Tampa Bay Rays' marketing department has been saying all year, "is beautiful."

This is why I feel now is the time for expansion into both underserved and unserved markets. The love is still there and people still want to see the boys of summer become our gods of the cult. Minor League Baseball is alive and well in this country, though most of the players aren't under the pretense they will ever make it to the Bigs. Some major metropolitan areas are more than 200 miles from their closest MLB team, and while their MiLB players are grateful to play there, they, as well as the citizenry of those "minor cities", would love to host the real deal. They would love the opportunity to have the Commissioner's Trophy parade down their Main Street - or at least appear for photo ops in City Hall.

St. Pete is the most recent to experience this. Long considered the Birthplace of Spring Training, St. Petersburg joined the "major cities" in 1998 by finally filling the Thunderdome with its own baseball team. It took 11 seasons, but the Rays finally had its first winning season, playoff berth, and World Series appearance - all at once. And while the season didn't include a ticker-tape parade down Bayshore Dr, the Commissioner's Trophy did finally set foot on this holy city, the mecca of modern baseball, spring home to the immortals - Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Musial, Ozzie Smith, Stengel, among countless others that faced them in the holiest of shrines, Al Lang Field. It took 92 years from the time Mayor Al Lang convinced the Phillies and Browns to come to his city in March until his ultimate dream was realized of a World Series being played there, but it truly was worth the wait.

It's time for others to feel that euphoria of each pitch, the joy of each homer, and the overall feeling of ecstasy of a Major League Baseball season. And with that, I give you my possible candidates for expansion. Keep in mind that, due to the current scheduling structure of the Majors, only even numbers can join at once, or else the National and American leagues would need to play each other all the time, and personally, I like the fact they're separated, save three weeks-a-year. Without further ado, here are the candidates for a new franchise and why - welcome to the Majors, everyone:



1.) Hampton Roads - With the exclusion of Las Vegas (which no pro sports team will touch until they come to an agreement over sports betting), this region is the largest metropolis without any of the Major Sports (MLB, NFL, NBA, and NHL). They're chomping at the bit for anything to come their way; in fact, they almost obtained the then-Montreal Expos with the hopes of an expansion to their minor league park would seal the deal. Unfortunately, it didn't, and that team is now the Washington Nationals, a mere 208 miles one-way away. With a worthy investor and a hungry populous, this turns into a gold mine for anyone willing to take a chance.

2.) Portland, OR - This city is the model of urban planning. Its metro system is constantly ranked toward the top of lists year after year and its environmentally-conscious government make this one hell of a desirable locale. It has only one "Big 4" team: the NBA's Trailblazers. The people love them intensely and that rabid fandom would carry over to baseball, making it more than profitable in every sense.

3.) Vancouver, BC - "But Jimbo, didn't MLB just pull half the Canadian teams back to the US?" Yes, but Montreal's biggest flaw was its white elephant, the Olympic Stadium. That place costs more to operate in, even paid-off, than almost every other stadium in MLB. This is why even the CFL pulled the Allouettes out and built them a new stadium. Vancouver, on the other hand, is just as large of a metro, with a large percentage of their citizens being Mariners, not Blue Jays, fans. With over 2 million in the metro area and being the only other city in Canada with professional baseball (minor league Class-A Canadians), this is a perfect fit into the Majors.

4.) Charlotte, Raleigh, or Durham, NC - North Carolina is home to the other three of the Big 4: NFL's Panthers, NHL's Hurricanes, and NBA's Bobcats. North Carolina is also home to nine minor league teams of all three skill sets, and one of the most famous teams in the Minors, the Durham Bulls. The pedigree is there, but are the people of North Carolina ready for baseball? I think so, and it would not be a bad investment to think likewise.

5.) Wilmington, DE - Why would I suggest such a small town, one of only 75,000? It's the same distance from Philadelphia as the Dodgers/Angels, Orioles/Nationals, and Giants/Athletics are from each other. Philadelphia is the largest metro without two teams in at least one sport, and as the Athletics were the American League team in Philly from the time they helped charter the AL in 1901 (the team existed in some form since 1876, however) until 1954 when they went to Kansas City, and the fact the Phillies have almost sold-out every game over the past few seasons, they proved they can handle two teams. Putting it in Wilmington allows enough distance for the fan bases to naturally grow in opposite directions: the southern regions attracted to Wilmington and the northern regions attracted to Philly. The AL/NL rivalry could begin again. The Blue Rocks' Frawley Stadium has enough space to expand into a 40,000 seat field, and with its close proximity to downtown Wilmington and I-95, it's a sure-fire bet they will be profitable.




Considering the most likely scenario is going to involve only two teams, bringing the total to 32 - which works well for the NFL - and the most likely candidates would be one new metro (the largest with the least competition from other leagues, Hampton Roads) and a proven area in search of a second team (the Delaware Valley), the new divisions would keep old rivalries in tact as much as possible while allowing for the new additions. Unlike the "four teams, four divisions" system the NFL uses, that won't work in MLB's case to keep said rivalries and the playoff format in tact:

National League East: Philadelphia, New York (NL), Atlanta, Florida (soon Miami), Washington, Pittsburgh
National League Central: Chicago (NL), Milwaukee, St. Louis, Cincinnati, Houston
National League West: Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Colorado, Arizona
American League East: New York (AL), Boston, Toronto, Wilmington, Hampton Roads, Baltimore
American League Central: Chicago (AL), Minnesota, Cleveland, Detroit, Tampa Bay
American League West: Seattle, Anaheim, Texas, Oakland, Kansas City

The playoff format would need to be changed slightly, but it would result in only an extra, at most, 3 days of rest for the division winners. With the sudden explosion of extra teams, it would be time to expand to two wild-card slots instead of today's one. This allows more teams to make it to the postseason with a still significantly less percentage-wise playoff ratio when compared to the other leagues. However, the two wild-cards would face each other in a best-of-three, with the winner playing the next team by the same rules as today (#1 seed, except if that team is in the same division).

Now, I'm sure I'll get pushback for my choices of cities that would make it, the subsequent alignment of the divisions, and the postseason arrangement, but if you notice, I picked the most logical choices for all in regards to potential fanbase and overall revenue on all accounts. Also, this is my world and I will do as I see fit.

So, you think you can do better? What would you do, if given unlimited money and power? Which cities would you expand to? Or, would you contract, and if so, who would you eliminate, and why? Can you do better than me? Show me what you're playing ball with!

Come Back and Do the Trop

No, this post is not about baseball (which, the Rays are in Denver tonight @ 8:40, and the Phils are hosting Canada's Last Hope @ 7:05, so watch them!), nor is it about the latest news regarding Tropicana Field's fate (which won't be mentioned at all on this blog until something substantial comes along, I promise); it's about Tropicana orange juice - that stalwart of breakfast tables across America - and advertising ideas gone horribly wrong. I know, an introspective on bad ideas not performed by myself is a departure for me too, but there's a first time for everything, right?

Today's Tropicana Products, a subsidiary of PepsiCo, started back in 1947, when Anthony Rossi moved from New York to Palmetto - just south of St. Pete on the other side of Tampa Bay - and started Manatee River Packing Company, a packing plant for fruit box gifts and fruits destined to be thrown on salads. Then, in 1952, he bought an old cannery in Bradenton, which is now the home of the Tropicana processing plant. The familiar "Tropicana" name game from their premium juice they provided, and the company took that name as their own in 1957. Pepsi bought them in 1998, and the rest is history.

For many years, they've had one of the most recognizable logos in advertising history: the fresh-picked orange, dew still dripping off of it, with a straw in it. It's meant to symbolize the freshness of the juice, as it really does taste fresh-squeezed. I, amongst millions of people daily, enjoy a cold glass of OJ in the morning (pulp-free, please!), and have grown to love that little orange being massacred with a plastic drinking utensil. Thanks for taking one for the team, little guy!

However, at the beginning of the year, PepsiCo committed its own "New Coke"-sized faux pas, changing that beloved death-by-straw orange into this:



Classy? I guess. Bland? Completely. Enticing? Meh, not really. It's just a glass of orange juice, nothing special or fancy. Now, if it came with its own champagne or vodka, I'd be more likely to buy it, but since mimosas and screwdrivers in the morning right before work could be hazardous both to your driving and career longevity, that's probably not the image you want to go for. And apparently Pepsi realize they messed up, too, because it was changed quickly thereafter back to the lovable, drinkable orange.

So, that brings me to the reason for this blog post: marketing failures. And this is where I ask for audience participation. Other than the "New Coke" fiasco, what big advertising "miscalculations" stick out in your mind? I'm curious to see what others consider an Epic Fail.

Alright, I'm outta here. Don't forget, the Phils are on CSN at 7:05 and the Rays are on Sun Sports at 8:40. Oh, and if you're out in Denver, don't forget to don your Rays gear and head out to Johnny’s New York Pizza & Pasta Shop in Lakewood tomorrow to get your free meal, since the Rays still made it to the World Series. See? The Rays may not have won, but they're still honored across the country for being bad-ass last year!

Monday Musings

Welcome to Monday Musings, a weekly section dedicated to pretty much anything that comes to my mind at random - which, if you know me, is pretty much like everything else I do.

How'd the weekend treat you? You see the Rays get their first 5-game win streak this season? Believe it or not, they're not doing that badly, considering they were only 7 games over .500 at the All-Star Break last year. The Phils also were able to get a win against those baastids from Boston, which the Rays desperately needed. (Speaking of, get ready for strictly-baseball talk 6/23-25...you know why!) Did anyone else see Pat Burrell sporting the goatee? Am I the only one who finds it a tad pornstar-ish and not really meant for him to wear? It was like the one time I tried to do that; God, it was awful! Some people just aren't meant to have facial hair, and that's a truth I accepted. As soon as your MC finds a pic of Pat the Bat as Ron Jeremy, you know he'll be posting it.

(Speaking of, I'm diligently trying to find a special gift for everyone to view. I'll let you know should I get my hands on it. If not, I'll put out a public appeal, but let's see where this road goes first. Stay tuned....)

Did anyone see the news this morning? Apparently, in our mayoral race here in St. Pete - the only election I've see that has more candidates than can fit on one webpage - one of the leading candidates, Deveron Gibbons, was endorsed by Gov. Charlie Crist. I'm going to keep my opinions to myself for right now on whom I endorse (I'll wait until the primary's closer), but I am going to question the logic behind accepting that nod. Gov. Crist, while once popular with more than 70% of the electorate, has since dropped to 62% since he decided to forgo a second term and run for US Senate, as well as sign SB 360, which basically reduces restrictions of development allowing urban density to be much larger than the road around it has the capacity for it. Basically put, a 12-story condo could be put on a 2-lane road and not need to expanded. That is not what Florida should, or can, become. So, while remains to be seen whether this endorsement will help or hurt Gibbons' campaign, I do know that his campaign now has that controversy attached to it, and that's not what he needs when running against a field of people that size. You need to stand out for the right reasons, and controversy's not it.

Alright, that's about enough musing for one Monday. Rays are off today, heading to Colorado, even though we're supposed to be playing the NL East this year and we won't be meeting the Braves, and so are Phils, who play Toronto at home tomorrow. Taking a cue from one of my friends, I'm gonna yank on YouTube and leave you with a special news bulletin:



You stay classy, St. Pete/Philly/wherever you call home.

Jumping In Head-First: A Primer

Alright, it looks like it's time to join the rest of the blogosphere and leave behind the random ramblings I posted on MySpace and make it happen on a more visible, "socially-acceptable" service. The reason I say it that way is because a friend of mine was dissuaded from reading my past rants and diatribes simply because it was on that site. There's nothing wrong with that train of thought, mind you, as I haven't been on MySpace in a while, and I've noticed a lot of my friends haven't, either. So, at some point, I'll migrate them over here for your viewing pleasure. You can see that they were helping me with an apparent evolution of my writing from - in retrospect - relatively crude and unrefined to...well, you be the judge.

I'm sorry, I didn't even introduce myself properly. My name's Jimbo and I'll be your MC for what I hope will be one of your bookmarks. If not, then I'll know for certain that I suck at writing and I'll go back to road tripping, which I know I'm good at. I'm a no-holds-barred kind of person and I expect, and look forward to, comments and discussions in the same light. I'm not easily offended, and because of that, I probably will offend unintentionally. Remember it's purely unintentional and I'll buy you a beer later to show you I still like you.

The topics discussed on this small slice of cyberspace will be like my personality: random, yet passionate. As the title implies, it'll do mainly with the goings-on of both my home region, the Delaware Valley, and the my current biosphere, Tampa Bay. Nothing is off-limits: sports, politics, happenings, history, and some broader topics, like music and national/international issues that affect us all. I know what you're thinking: "Jesus, not another one of these wackos that think he needs to be heard since the Adriana Huffington's and Perez Hilton's of the world got famous from it!" And you would be right. I mean, would anyone give a crap about any blogs at all if it wasn't for them (amongst better countless others), as reviled as they may or may not be, would the weblog be as popular as it is today? But am I doing this to be rich and famous? Hardly, as there are much easier ways: robbing banks and being a high-class mack/madam in large cities come to mind. I'm doing it for the same core reason each and everyone of us does this: because we can. Who said philosophy had to be complicated?

Here's where I have to give credit where credit is due, so you can skip to the next paragraph if you're not listed (warning: I'm just listing their nicknames - in no particular order, just the order I think of them - so no sappy emotional stuff needed nor warranted; I didn't just win a Grammy®, after all):
My Mom, who's a lot like Eileen Ripley, heroine of the Alien Quadrillogy
Hopper
Rabid Nick/Impoetry
B-Love
Richie Poo
Zombie Princess
Tonilicious
Becky
and anyone else I may have missed

That should about cover it today. Your MC has to leave for work soon, but he encourages you to watch both the Rays beat up the oh-my-God-can't-anyone-euthanize-them-and-spare-their-misery Nationals in St. Pete and the Phils and Red Sox slug it out yet again on South Broad Street; both games are on at 1:35pm today, so get your picture-in-picture ready and root, root, root for your home team - whichever one it may be. For me, I'm still debating that dilemma in my head.