I'm ending my self-imposed moratorium on discussing baseball. It's a sport I love, as Kevin may argue, to a fault. It's one of the things I'm truly optimistic about in life and I can spend hours talking about it. It's one of the common denominators we all, as Americans, can relate to. Whether we love it or loathe it, we all respect it as America's Pastime. Yeah, football is more ingrained into the American psyche now, but that's just dumbed-down rugby. Basketball has Mayan and African origins, and hockey is all thanks to the Great White North. Baseball, whether or not related to cricket in its purest form, is, like mom and apple pie, Americana in its essence.
The love of the game is what makes Major League Baseball the second-most profitable sports league in the world (behind the NFL). Japan has its own Major Leagues, as well as most of Southeast Asia and some European nations. It's a simple game, really: hit the ball, run to the bases, make it home without getting caught. It's how it's done, as well as the length of the season, that adds to the intrigue. The home run chases, the pitchers' duels, the trades: they all make a season interesting. Fans live and die with one of the 30 teams you remain loyal to season after season, as if they were some sects of a cult religion. You learn to hate the warring factions, even if you're not sure why there's animosity, simply because your father, and his father, and his father all did before you. You carry a torch for your mortal gods, no matter how well or how poorly they do. No other sport allows one team to have a wretched day and still be able to join the immortals of October, especially not the anointed football. "Baseball", as the Tampa Bay Rays' marketing department has been saying all year, "is beautiful."
This is why I feel now is the time for expansion into both underserved and unserved markets. The love is still there and people still want to see the boys of summer become our gods of the cult. Minor League Baseball is alive and well in this country, though most of the players aren't under the pretense they will ever make it to the Bigs. Some major metropolitan areas are more than 200 miles from their closest MLB team, and while their MiLB players are grateful to play there, they, as well as the citizenry of those "minor cities", would love to host the real deal. They would love the opportunity to have the Commissioner's Trophy parade down their Main Street - or at least appear for photo ops in City Hall.
St. Pete is the most recent to experience this. Long considered the Birthplace of Spring Training, St. Petersburg joined the "major cities" in 1998 by finally filling the Thunderdome with its own baseball team. It took 11 seasons, but the Rays finally had its first winning season, playoff berth, and World Series appearance - all at once. And while the season didn't include a ticker-tape parade down Bayshore Dr, the Commissioner's Trophy did finally set foot on this holy city, the mecca of modern baseball, spring home to the immortals - Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Musial, Ozzie Smith, Stengel, among countless others that faced them in the holiest of shrines, Al Lang Field. It took 92 years from the time Mayor Al Lang convinced the Phillies and Browns to come to his city in March until his ultimate dream was realized of a World Series being played there, but it truly was worth the wait.
It's time for others to feel that euphoria of each pitch, the joy of each homer, and the overall feeling of ecstasy of a Major League Baseball season. And with that, I give you my possible candidates for expansion. Keep in mind that, due to the current scheduling structure of the Majors, only even numbers can join at once, or else the National and American leagues would need to play each other all the time, and personally, I like the fact they're separated, save three weeks-a-year. Without further ado, here are the candidates for a new franchise and why - welcome to the Majors, everyone:
1.) Hampton Roads - With the exclusion of Las Vegas (which no pro sports team will touch until they come to an agreement over sports betting), this region is the largest metropolis without any of the Major Sports (MLB, NFL, NBA, and NHL). They're chomping at the bit for anything to come their way; in fact, they almost obtained the then-Montreal Expos with the hopes of an expansion to their minor league park would seal the deal. Unfortunately, it didn't, and that team is now the Washington Nationals, a mere 208 miles one-way away. With a worthy investor and a hungry populous, this turns into a gold mine for anyone willing to take a chance.
2.) Portland, OR - This city is the model of urban planning. Its metro system is constantly ranked toward the top of lists year after year and its environmentally-conscious government make this one hell of a desirable locale. It has only one "Big 4" team: the NBA's Trailblazers. The people love them intensely and that rabid fandom would carry over to baseball, making it more than profitable in every sense.
3.) Vancouver, BC - "But Jimbo, didn't MLB just pull half the Canadian teams back to the US?" Yes, but Montreal's biggest flaw was its white elephant, the Olympic Stadium. That place costs more to operate in, even paid-off, than almost every other stadium in MLB. This is why even the CFL pulled the Allouettes out and built them a new stadium. Vancouver, on the other hand, is just as large of a metro, with a large percentage of their citizens being Mariners, not Blue Jays, fans. With over 2 million in the metro area and being the only other city in Canada with professional baseball (minor league Class-A Canadians), this is a perfect fit into the Majors.
4.) Charlotte, Raleigh, or Durham, NC - North Carolina is home to the other three of the Big 4: NFL's Panthers, NHL's Hurricanes, and NBA's Bobcats. North Carolina is also home to nine minor league teams of all three skill sets, and one of the most famous teams in the Minors, the Durham Bulls. The pedigree is there, but are the people of North Carolina ready for baseball? I think so, and it would not be a bad investment to think likewise.
5.) Wilmington, DE - Why would I suggest such a small town, one of only 75,000? It's the same distance from Philadelphia as the Dodgers/Angels, Orioles/Nationals, and Giants/Athletics are from each other. Philadelphia is the largest metro without two teams in at least one sport, and as the Athletics were the American League team in Philly from the time they helped charter the AL in 1901 (the team existed in some form since 1876, however) until 1954 when they went to Kansas City, and the fact the Phillies have almost sold-out every game over the past few seasons, they proved they can handle two teams. Putting it in Wilmington allows enough distance for the fan bases to naturally grow in opposite directions: the southern regions attracted to Wilmington and the northern regions attracted to Philly. The AL/NL rivalry could begin again. The Blue Rocks' Frawley Stadium has enough space to expand into a 40,000 seat field, and with its close proximity to downtown Wilmington and I-95, it's a sure-fire bet they will be profitable.
Considering the most likely scenario is going to involve only two teams, bringing the total to 32 - which works well for the NFL - and the most likely candidates would be one new metro (the largest with the least competition from other leagues, Hampton Roads) and a proven area in search of a second team (the Delaware Valley), the new divisions would keep old rivalries in tact as much as possible while allowing for the new additions. Unlike the "four teams, four divisions" system the NFL uses, that won't work in MLB's case to keep said rivalries and the playoff format in tact:
National League East: Philadelphia, New York (NL), Atlanta, Florida (soon Miami), Washington, Pittsburgh National League Central: Chicago (NL), Milwaukee, St. Louis, Cincinnati, Houston National League West: Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Colorado, Arizona American League East: New York (AL), Boston, Toronto, Wilmington, Hampton Roads, Baltimore American League Central: Chicago (AL), Minnesota, Cleveland, Detroit, Tampa Bay American League West: Seattle, Anaheim, Texas, Oakland, Kansas City
The playoff format would need to be changed slightly, but it would result in only an extra, at most, 3 days of rest for the division winners. With the sudden explosion of extra teams, it would be time to expand to two wild-card slots instead of today's one. This allows more teams to make it to the postseason with a still significantly less percentage-wise playoff ratio when compared to the other leagues. However, the two wild-cards would face each other in a best-of-three, with the winner playing the next team by the same rules as today (#1 seed, except if that team is in the same division).
Now, I'm sure I'll get pushback for my choices of cities that would make it, the subsequent alignment of the divisions, and the postseason arrangement, but if you notice, I picked the most logical choices for all in regards to potential fanbase and overall revenue on all accounts. Also, this is my world and I will do as I see fit.
So, you think you can do better? What would you do, if given unlimited money and power? Which cities would you expand to? Or, would you contract, and if so, who would you eliminate, and why? Can you do better than me? Show me what you're playing ball with!
(Editor's note: While this was originally posted on Nov. 23, 2008, on my MySpace page, I have updated it on Dec. 1, 2012, to include the newest Bond movie, Skyfall. This is only to the list and not the prose at this time. One day I'll get around to editing the rest. Enjoy!)
So, I went and saw Quantum of Solace last night. If you've been living under a rock or in a cave for the last 5 years, EON has told us that these last two Bond movies (Casino Royale came out in 2006) starring Daniel Craig, are not prequels, but a "retelling" of the 007 franchise Ian Fleming so lovingly wrote 40 years ago, and Albert Broccoli so carefully produced for 30 years. I went in with such low expectations that I was just pleasantly surprised that 007 wasn't given amnesia and forced to retrace his steps to figure out who did it to him and take them down (a la the Bourne trilogy, which looks like they're trying to do after the utterly-boring Casino).
However, I'm not writing my review on this movie; as my friend Kevin will tell you, I'm "an idiot with movies". That being said, if you want a movie review, go see his blog. I'm writing today, not about the James Bond we see, but the one we hear. Every Bond movie has some good core elements (something the masterminds of this "retooling" have seem to forgotten...mostly): a suave, cool, and collected protagonist (aka 007); a cliched, yet campy and well-loved, saying or two (quick fact: did you know that martinis are really never shaken? If you did that, it becomes a watered-down mess. Basically, James was a lightweight with his alcohol and tried to hide it!); a Bond girl with a borderline R-rated name (Plenty O'Toole was pretty tame, though); and a really cool theme song for the time frame in which the film was set.
And that last one is the subject of this post today. There have been 23 Bond films to date, and 22 original songs (Dr. No was the only one to use the official Bond theme song as its movie song as well), so I think it's time to do a "Best of..." list. I'm sure there's some out there much more well-known (and better written) than mine, but fuck it! You're here, so might as well do it. Keep in mind, I'm not rating the movies, or even how the opening sequences were filmed; I'm only gonna rate the song itself. So, without further ado:
Before you quit on this list already, remember what I said: I'm not judging the movies; that's Kevin's job. Mine is to judge the songs, and as far as the theme songs go, this one just beat out Quantum of Solace's "Another Way to Die" for this spot. With the vocals of Bassey, and the down-tempo sensation of floating through space, it fit into the theme of the movie precisely...even if the movie was pretty cheesy. (Another quick fact: Dame Bassey is the only person to sing the theme for more than one Bond film. One more is on my Top 10, but the one that missed the cut was "Goldfinger" for - you guessed it - Goldfinger)
10.) "A View to a Kill" - Duran Duran (from A View to a Kill)
EON has (almost) always chosen acts to do their themes that were super-popular at the time. You had Tom Jones in '65, Lulu in '74, Sheena Easton in '81, and Madonna in '02, so why should 1985 be any different. Duran Duran just came off their multi-platinum album Rio a few years earlier, and were still riding high. And this theme sounded like something that came off that album: lots of synth, big vocals, and a funky bass line make this the epitome of the '80s pop-rock scene.
9.) "Tomorrow Never Dies" - Sheryl Crow (from Tomorrow Never Dies)
Being a folksy rocker chick would usually exclude you from being picked for being the "artist-of-record" for a moment in time, yet she somehow pulls it off well; she doesn't let the big orchestra drown her out and makes sure you hear her loud and clear, yet doesn't strain to make it known. From the catchy hook, to the bluesy beat, this song works.
8.) "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" - John Barry (from On Her Majesty's Secret Service)
George Lazenby's only role was under-appreciated. Maybe that was because it was less action and more love story, or because Blomfeld's actor changed, showing the first flaw with the series. Possibly moreso, it's not well-received because Lazenby chose to leave after this one movie, thereby adding to the psyche that he believed his own performance was bad, so why should they like it; this, of course, was not the case. But in forgoing this movie, you miss a dark and sinister opening theme that fits perfectly into the sentiment of this film. (Now, I'll probably receive the most criticism from this one because some will argue "this wasn't the official theme of that movie." And, actually, they would be right. The official theme song was Louis Armstrong's "We Have All the Time in the World", which was a fantastic song and could be higher on the list. However, this song was played at the end, during the ending credits, and as that's completely out of character with a Bond theme, it won't be counted on this list.)
7.) "You Know My Name" - Chris Cornell (from Casino Royale)
With the "retooling", Bond was meant to be edgier, grittier, and more of a bad-ass and less refined; Chris Cornell fits this criteria perfectly. From Audioslave and Soundgarden fame, Cornell has always been one of my favorite rock singers, and he proves why here. With mainstream lyrics (the title's not forced into the lyrics) and a killer guitar riff, this song can be played on hard rock stations and no one would think twice and crank it up. Yet, it retains the big orchestra and larger-than-life sound needed for a good Bond theme.
6.) "Nobody Does It Better" - Carly Simon (from The Spy Who Loved Me)
Carly Simon has always been an intriguing singer. People still ask her to this day who "You're So Vain" is about (to which she doesn't reply), and it has been used in dozens of movies and sampled by Janet Jackson. Same goes with "Nobody", even though most people don't remember it's from a 007 film anymore. Turn on any soft-pop station in the country, and you can be assured this song is in their rotation. It has stood the test of time because it's not directly about Bond or the movie (though "the spy who loved me" is forced into the song rather awkwardly), and has the same elements of her other music: slightly funky, slightly folky, and plenty of piano. Any song with this much staying power in the mainstream is good in my book.
5.) "Skyfall" - Adele (from Skyfall)
From another Daniel Craig movie, and the third in his repertoire, this theme song, sung by the incomparable Adele, helps bring the Bond franchise back to its blues/jazz routes. It remains a cool, contemporary sound while conjuring up memories of Shirley Bassey, Tom Jones, and Tina Turner. Adele finds a way to make her voice known without overpowering the band, and they work together to create this masterpiece.
4.) "Diamonds Are Forever" - Dame Shirley Bassey (from Diamonds Are Forever)
They say the ultimate compliment is to be ripped off, and that's especially true when it's someone as famous as Kanye West. Some people shrug it off, while most others sue. Dame Bassey was not only was flattered, but she even offered the "usurper" more of her library. This is such a big song, and she's such a big voice, that it's easy to see why West would do such a thing for his song "Diamonds from Sierra Leone". Her powerful pipes constantly fight for control of the song from the orchestra, and it's a beautiful grudge match. Funky, jazzy, and loud, this song is sweet intoxication.
3.) The World Is Not Enough - Garbage (from The World Is Not Enough)
How does a rock band from Wisconsin become one of the biggest bands in the world then become a relic of the Grunge Age, only to come back and perform the Bond theme, which is inherently neither grunge nor rock? That's Garbage, the epitome of the Bond franchise; an evolutionary band pretty much capable of staying relevent in an ever-changing world. I firmly believe Shirley Manson wouldn't be on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles if it wasn't for this glorious comeback. If you close your eyes and listen to the theme, (as their music video suggests) it feels like your watching a massive Broadway musical; there's enough brass and string instruments to rival the Met, and it's completely over-the-top...just the way any good Bond movie should be.
2.) "GoldenEye" - Tina Turner (from GoldenEye)
Who ever thought that Tina Turner was still relevant enough to be the Bond singer in 1995, 6 years after her last studio album, Foreign Affair, was a sheer genius. She has the look (though you don't see her in the film - another quick fact: Sheena Easton and Madonna are the only two singers in their respective films - Easton seen singing in the opening credits of For Your Eyes Only and Madonna having a cameo in Die Another Day) and the sultry voice to pull it off, and that - like Garbage's 1999 appearance - re-sparked her career at a time when the world thought she was done. You can see how I rated this and every other title sequence here, and I suggest you do. With the funky, sexy, and big song attached, this is very much a shining example of a Bond song.
1.) "Live and Let Die" - Wings (from Live and Let Die)
Can you name any other Bond song so relevant, so fresh, and so remade after 35 years? Large crescendos, sing-along lyrics ("You know you did, you know you did, you know you did"), a great riff, and a former Beatle - what more can you ask for? This takes the typical Bond orchestra, gives it a shot of adrenaline, puts tons of pyrotechnics in the room and ignites them, and still has time to have a Monty Python moment ("and now, for something completely different") by creating a catchy hook with a completely different tempo - in case you're about to make a fool of yourself and bust into air guitar. This song makes every other Bond theme seem like they were created to put insomniacs to bed; it's in-your-face and unapologetic. While the movie was good, though not great, the theme was, by far, the best ever created for a Bond. Listen to your classic rock station; I bet you hear this version in the rotation once in a while. (But don't talk to me about the Guns N' Roses version, that was garbage! Hey, I never said the covers were any good.) The chances of anyone making one to dethrone this theme have gone up with the "grittier", "edgier" Bond, and while I love both The White Stripes and Alicia Keys, EON really needs to try harder to find someone who can do it.
So, there you have it. For shiggles, I'll leave you with the rest of the list; consider them my "honorable mentions" as they were good in their own rights, just not the pinnacle of the franchise:
This is why I feel now is the time for expansion into both underserved and unserved markets. The love is still there and people still want to see the boys of summer become our gods of the cult. Minor League Baseball is alive and well in this country, though most of the players aren't under the pretense they will ever make it to the Bigs. Some major metropolitan areas are more than 200 miles from their closest MLB team, and while their MiLB players are grateful to play there, they, as well as the citizenry of those "minor cities", would love to host the real deal. They would love the opportunity to have the Commissioner's Trophy parade down their Main Street - or at least appear for photo ops in City Hall.
St. Pete is the most recent to experience this. Long considered the Birthplace of Spring Training, St. Petersburg joined the "major cities" in 1998 by finally filling the Thunderdome with its own baseball team. It took 11 seasons, but the Rays finally had its first winning season, playoff berth, and World Series appearance - all at once. And while the season didn't include a ticker-tape parade down Bayshore Dr, the Commissioner's Trophy did finally set foot on this holy city, the mecca of modern baseball, spring home to the immortals - Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Musial, Ozzie Smith, Stengel, among countless others that faced them in the holiest of shrines, Al Lang Field. It took 92 years from the time Mayor Al Lang convinced the Phillies and Browns to come to his city in March until his ultimate dream was realized of a World Series being played there, but it truly was worth the wait.
1.) Hampton Roads - With the exclusion of Las Vegas (which no pro sports team will touch until they come to an agreement over sports betting), this region is the largest metropolis without any of the Major Sports (MLB, NFL, NBA, and NHL). They're chomping at the bit for anything to come their way; in fact, they almost obtained the then-Montreal Expos with the hopes of an expansion to their minor league park would seal the deal. Unfortunately, it didn't, and that team is now the Washington Nationals, a mere 208 miles one-way away. With a worthy investor and a hungry populous, this turns into a gold mine for anyone willing to take a chance.
2.) Portland, OR - This city is the model of urban planning. Its metro system is constantly ranked toward the top of lists year after year and its environmentally-conscious government make this one hell of a desirable locale. It has only one "Big 4" team: the NBA's Trailblazers. The people love them intensely and that rabid fandom would carry over to baseball, making it more than profitable in every sense.
3.) Vancouver, BC - "But Jimbo, didn't MLB just pull half the Canadian teams back to the US?" Yes, but Montreal's biggest flaw was its white elephant, the Olympic Stadium. That place costs more to operate in, even paid-off, than almost every other stadium in MLB. This is why even the CFL pulled the Allouettes out and built them a new stadium. Vancouver, on the other hand, is just as large of a metro, with a large percentage of their citizens being Mariners, not Blue Jays, fans. With over 2 million in the metro area and being the only other city in Canada with professional baseball (minor league Class-A Canadians), this is a perfect fit into the Majors.
4.) Charlotte, Raleigh, or Durham, NC - North Carolina is home to the other three of the Big 4: NFL's Panthers, NHL's Hurricanes, and NBA's Bobcats. North Carolina is also home to nine minor league teams of all three skill sets, and one of the most famous teams in the Minors, the Durham Bulls. The pedigree is there, but are the people of North Carolina ready for baseball? I think so, and it would not be a bad investment to think likewise.
5.) Wilmington, DE - Why would I suggest such a small town, one of only 75,000? It's the same distance from Philadelphia as the Dodgers/Angels, Orioles/Nationals, and Giants/Athletics are from each other. Philadelphia is the largest metro without two teams in at least one sport, and as the Athletics were the American League team in Philly from the time they helped charter the AL in 1901 (the team existed in some form since 1876, however) until 1954 when they went to Kansas City, and the fact the Phillies have almost sold-out every game over the past few seasons, they proved they can handle two teams. Putting it in Wilmington allows enough distance for the fan bases to naturally grow in opposite directions: the southern regions attracted to Wilmington and the northern regions attracted to Philly. The AL/NL rivalry could begin again. The Blue Rocks' Frawley Stadium has enough space to expand into a 40,000 seat field, and with its close proximity to downtown Wilmington and I-95, it's a sure-fire bet they will be profitable.
