What Would Jimbo Do? (An Occassional Feature)

Greetings and salutations, my virtual friends. I'm not feeling myself today, so instead of taking meds or getting sleep like I feel like I probably should, I'm instead going to eat Spinach Alfredo pizza with chicken and bacon, forgo all modesty and write this half-naked, and pretend you give a damn about my ideas, because - as you know - I rock! The way this occasional works is simple: I pick one thing going on in the world, no matter how large, controversial, or trivial, and tell you what I, as King of Everything Existing, Gone, and Yet-to-Be-Created, would do. I promise not to go over three paragraphs for the idea, and you're welcome to pelt me with comments/suggestions/questions - or, if you prefer, snowballs. So, without further ado, let the fun begin!

Today's subject: Making an east-west freeway in Pinellas County - Change, no matter how hard people try to fight it, is good for everyone. Things need to change and adapt to survive, and whole people will try and resist, you need to figure out when the change is beneficial and ignore the naysayers or when the vocal opposition is correct. Here's what I think will help St. Pete, and the rest of southern Pinellas County, become much more conveniently attractive to out-of-towners as it deserves to be without demolishing everything in its path:

Build a 4th east-west Tampa Bay high-level crossing, utilizing I-175 via tunnel from right before 4th St S to a man-made island just east of Albert Whitted Airport, that can accommodate commuter rail. With respect to the high water-table, the tunnel can be built the same way as the New River Tunnel is built in Fort Lauderdale so water can't seep in. Charge a toll so the Sunshine Skyway Bridge doesn't suffer from "shunpiking", but something reasonable to make it attractive ($2 eastbound only), and have it connect to I-75 near Apollo Beach. Remove the exit at 6th St, use that space to build a westbound exit to 8th St, and have exits to 4th St (EB) and 3rd St (WB) (a la Boston's Big Dig) to the west of the bridge.

Extend I-175 westward toward the beaches along the 5th St S corridor. Instead of uprooting people's lives, however, use the Big Dig as an example again and bury the freeway under the city. Exits to access this freeway would be available at 22nd St S, 34th St S, and 49th St S, before it turns northwest toward it's final destination. In the meantime, the 1st Ave N/S twins would have access, as well as 5th Ave N. The freeway would reemerge on Tyrone Blvd, which would be turned into a freeway from 9th Ave N all the way to the current freeway-style interchange to Madeira Beach; exits would be provided at today's major intersections: 22nd Ave N/66th St N, 38th Ave N, Park St N, and the Bay Pines VA. Access to others addresses would be provided by frontage roads. The light on the Tom Stuart Causeway would also be removed, as well as raising the drawbridge to eliminate most openings.

There, problem solved. See? That wasn't insanely painful, was it? Again, this is only occasional (read: when I get a bug up my ass), so I can't tell you when or what the next one will be. All I can do is invite you to leave a comment. So, get down on it!