Expansion of an Institution

I'm ending my self-imposed moratorium on discussing baseball. It's a sport I love, as Kevin may argue, to a fault. It's one of the things I'm truly optimistic about in life and I can spend hours talking about it. It's one of the common denominators we all, as Americans, can relate to. Whether we love it or loathe it, we all respect it as America's Pastime. Yeah, football is more ingrained into the American psyche now, but that's just dumbed-down rugby. Basketball has Mayan and African origins, and hockey is all thanks to the Great White North. Baseball, whether or not related to cricket in its purest form, is, like mom and apple pie, Americana in its essence.

The love of the game is what makes Major League Baseball the second-most profitable sports league in the world (behind the NFL). Japan has its own Major Leagues, as well as most of Southeast Asia and some European nations. It's a simple game, really: hit the ball, run to the bases, make it home without getting caught. It's how it's done, as well as the length of the season, that adds to the intrigue. The home run chases, the pitchers' duels, the trades: they all make a season interesting. Fans live and die with one of the 30 teams you remain loyal to season after season, as if they were some sects of a cult religion. You learn to hate the warring factions, even if you're not sure why there's animosity, simply because your father, and his father, and his father all did before you. You carry a torch for your mortal gods, no matter how well or how poorly they do. No other sport allows one team to have a wretched day and still be able to join the immortals of October, especially not the anointed football. "Baseball", as the Tampa Bay Rays' marketing department has been saying all year, "is beautiful."

This is why I feel now is the time for expansion into both underserved and unserved markets. The love is still there and people still want to see the boys of summer become our gods of the cult. Minor League Baseball is alive and well in this country, though most of the players aren't under the pretense they will ever make it to the Bigs. Some major metropolitan areas are more than 200 miles from their closest MLB team, and while their MiLB players are grateful to play there, they, as well as the citizenry of those "minor cities", would love to host the real deal. They would love the opportunity to have the Commissioner's Trophy parade down their Main Street - or at least appear for photo ops in City Hall.

St. Pete is the most recent to experience this. Long considered the Birthplace of Spring Training, St. Petersburg joined the "major cities" in 1998 by finally filling the Thunderdome with its own baseball team. It took 11 seasons, but the Rays finally had its first winning season, playoff berth, and World Series appearance - all at once. And while the season didn't include a ticker-tape parade down Bayshore Dr, the Commissioner's Trophy did finally set foot on this holy city, the mecca of modern baseball, spring home to the immortals - Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Musial, Ozzie Smith, Stengel, among countless others that faced them in the holiest of shrines, Al Lang Field. It took 92 years from the time Mayor Al Lang convinced the Phillies and Browns to come to his city in March until his ultimate dream was realized of a World Series being played there, but it truly was worth the wait.

It's time for others to feel that euphoria of each pitch, the joy of each homer, and the overall feeling of ecstasy of a Major League Baseball season. And with that, I give you my possible candidates for expansion. Keep in mind that, due to the current scheduling structure of the Majors, only even numbers can join at once, or else the National and American leagues would need to play each other all the time, and personally, I like the fact they're separated, save three weeks-a-year. Without further ado, here are the candidates for a new franchise and why - welcome to the Majors, everyone:



1.) Hampton Roads - With the exclusion of Las Vegas (which no pro sports team will touch until they come to an agreement over sports betting), this region is the largest metropolis without any of the Major Sports (MLB, NFL, NBA, and NHL). They're chomping at the bit for anything to come their way; in fact, they almost obtained the then-Montreal Expos with the hopes of an expansion to their minor league park would seal the deal. Unfortunately, it didn't, and that team is now the Washington Nationals, a mere 208 miles one-way away. With a worthy investor and a hungry populous, this turns into a gold mine for anyone willing to take a chance.

2.) Portland, OR - This city is the model of urban planning. Its metro system is constantly ranked toward the top of lists year after year and its environmentally-conscious government make this one hell of a desirable locale. It has only one "Big 4" team: the NBA's Trailblazers. The people love them intensely and that rabid fandom would carry over to baseball, making it more than profitable in every sense.

3.) Vancouver, BC - "But Jimbo, didn't MLB just pull half the Canadian teams back to the US?" Yes, but Montreal's biggest flaw was its white elephant, the Olympic Stadium. That place costs more to operate in, even paid-off, than almost every other stadium in MLB. This is why even the CFL pulled the Allouettes out and built them a new stadium. Vancouver, on the other hand, is just as large of a metro, with a large percentage of their citizens being Mariners, not Blue Jays, fans. With over 2 million in the metro area and being the only other city in Canada with professional baseball (minor league Class-A Canadians), this is a perfect fit into the Majors.

4.) Charlotte, Raleigh, or Durham, NC - North Carolina is home to the other three of the Big 4: NFL's Panthers, NHL's Hurricanes, and NBA's Bobcats. North Carolina is also home to nine minor league teams of all three skill sets, and one of the most famous teams in the Minors, the Durham Bulls. The pedigree is there, but are the people of North Carolina ready for baseball? I think so, and it would not be a bad investment to think likewise.

5.) Wilmington, DE - Why would I suggest such a small town, one of only 75,000? It's the same distance from Philadelphia as the Dodgers/Angels, Orioles/Nationals, and Giants/Athletics are from each other. Philadelphia is the largest metro without two teams in at least one sport, and as the Athletics were the American League team in Philly from the time they helped charter the AL in 1901 (the team existed in some form since 1876, however) until 1954 when they went to Kansas City, and the fact the Phillies have almost sold-out every game over the past few seasons, they proved they can handle two teams. Putting it in Wilmington allows enough distance for the fan bases to naturally grow in opposite directions: the southern regions attracted to Wilmington and the northern regions attracted to Philly. The AL/NL rivalry could begin again. The Blue Rocks' Frawley Stadium has enough space to expand into a 40,000 seat field, and with its close proximity to downtown Wilmington and I-95, it's a sure-fire bet they will be profitable.




Considering the most likely scenario is going to involve only two teams, bringing the total to 32 - which works well for the NFL - and the most likely candidates would be one new metro (the largest with the least competition from other leagues, Hampton Roads) and a proven area in search of a second team (the Delaware Valley), the new divisions would keep old rivalries in tact as much as possible while allowing for the new additions. Unlike the "four teams, four divisions" system the NFL uses, that won't work in MLB's case to keep said rivalries and the playoff format in tact:

National League East: Philadelphia, New York (NL), Atlanta, Florida (soon Miami), Washington, Pittsburgh
National League Central: Chicago (NL), Milwaukee, St. Louis, Cincinnati, Houston
National League West: Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Colorado, Arizona
American League East: New York (AL), Boston, Toronto, Wilmington, Hampton Roads, Baltimore
American League Central: Chicago (AL), Minnesota, Cleveland, Detroit, Tampa Bay
American League West: Seattle, Anaheim, Texas, Oakland, Kansas City

The playoff format would need to be changed slightly, but it would result in only an extra, at most, 3 days of rest for the division winners. With the sudden explosion of extra teams, it would be time to expand to two wild-card slots instead of today's one. This allows more teams to make it to the postseason with a still significantly less percentage-wise playoff ratio when compared to the other leagues. However, the two wild-cards would face each other in a best-of-three, with the winner playing the next team by the same rules as today (#1 seed, except if that team is in the same division).

Now, I'm sure I'll get pushback for my choices of cities that would make it, the subsequent alignment of the divisions, and the postseason arrangement, but if you notice, I picked the most logical choices for all in regards to potential fanbase and overall revenue on all accounts. Also, this is my world and I will do as I see fit.

So, you think you can do better? What would you do, if given unlimited money and power? Which cities would you expand to? Or, would you contract, and if so, who would you eliminate, and why? Can you do better than me? Show me what you're playing ball with!

The (Slow Spinning) Return of the King

So, it was brought to my attention that I was a bit of a dork. I'm obsessed with music and music history in what some people (*coughkevincough*....excuse me, something in my throat) consider an "unhealthy obsession". Sure, do I love experiencing music for all its richness? Yeah. Do I enjoy many different genres and appreciate the ones I'm not as fond of? Absolutely. Do I think something is missing from music today, not in its performance, but in its presentation? Yeah, but I couldn't figure it out until recently.

Apparently, though, I'm not the only one like that. Something I never thought I'd say again in my lifetime, but I'm more than ecstatic to shout it from the rooftops: LP (or for the younger generation - oh...my...God, I sound old as fuck! - vinyl records) sales, both units and dollars, have increased more than 120% from 2007 to 2008. This in an industry that has seen a contraction of about 25% year-to-year on its overall physical media (CDs, cassettes, music videos). While those promising numbers are nowhere near the figures posted by the virtual world (1.11 billion digital units to a measly 2.9 million LPs), this does represent a subtle change in how people want to hear the music, not just listen to it.

Let's go back to the beginning for just a moment. Thomas Alva Edison invented a bagillion things; everything from today's X-ray machine you find at your doctor's office to the stock ticker is thanks to him (and contrary to popular opinion, he didn't create the light bulb; he perfected it and made it long lasting so it could be mass-produced for consumption), as well as the "kinetoscope" (the precursor to the movie theater), the carbon telephone transmitter (the part you spoke into on corded phones...do people still have those?), and the electric generation plant.

However, one of his greatest inventions came about accidentally. He was looking for a way to record telegraphs so they could be "read" automatically and transmitted by telephone to the recipient - that an ingenious idea in and of itself - when he found a way to record and play back sounds instead of dashes and dots. There were other contraptions before his, but none were practical. His "graphophone" was born, consisting of a grooved tin-foil cylinder and a stylus. This later evolved, by other forward-thinking people, into the "phonograph", and for much of the 20th Century, it was the only way - other than live - most people would get their auditory pleasure. Whether it be in the form first depicted by RCA with Nipper listening intently to his master's voice (real dog, BTW) or the turntables attached to amps and equalizers of the '60s, the record, for intents and purposes, was king.

We became a car-crazed culture in the '50s and '60s with the new-found fortunes we had gained at the end of World War II, the advent of the Interstate Highway System, and Jack Kerouac's beatnik manifesto On the Road. We wanted to experience the wind in our hair, the sights not attainable on the old rural roads, and the unbridled feeling of being free - all while listening to our music. Sure, we had radios in our cars, but there were plenty of parts in this vast nation that simply didn't have the population to merit such expenditures like a radio station for people who would most likely never pay for their programming. Also, people wanted to create their own soundtrack, not one given to them across the airwaves. So, we tried everything we could to attach our beloved record players into our newly-beloved cars. When they managed to succeed, they failed. The major flaw with records: they skip sections of music when the stylus, which is on the record by pure gravity, loses contact with the vinyl.

Thus begins the dethroning of King Vinyl. Sure, it was slow and, as is always the case in situations where something as iconic as an LP loses practicality, not without backlash. The first practical attempt to make music portable came on the scene in 1964 with the 8-track. This was a popular medium for about 10 years, when the compact cassette - even though first developed before the 8-track in 1963 - burst onto the scene and chipped away at even the venerable LP.


By the mid '80s, the new kid - and new king, having overtaken LPs as the preferred medium of music for the first time since the days of Edison - on the block was now in danger of itself being overthrown by the threat called the compact disc. The CD was the ultimate in portability: high-quality digital sound, thinner size, and - for the first time - one-button pushing to jump from one song to the next. No more pushing fast forward and hitting play to see where you are if you reallllllllly need to listen to that certain song. The CD easily became champ in the early '90s, and stayed that way until the music industry found a way to eliminate the physical medium altogether: the MP3.

As I type this post, I'm listening to my iTunes right now (Yesterday by The Beatles just came on, and London Bridge by Fergie was just on, and All Your Reasons by Matchbox Twenty before that, in case you were curious), so I'm just as guilty as the next guy of buying into the digital media hype. In fact, digital music sales surpassed physical media two years ago for the first time and it continues to explode. The reasons are justified: iPods and other players are cheaper and more prevalent than just 5 years ago, instant gratification of having "that song", and no longer are you chained to buy the whole album - or pay the insane price for CD singles - if you only like one song. However, with all digital media, something magical is lost.

That something is the sound quality and the fidelity. Where the MP3 - and even, to a lesser extent, the CD and cassette - lacks is a process to make the music readable called "compression". It's not an evil plot by the music industry to sabotage the consumer, but in order for you to hear it with any clarity, some of the fidelity is lost. Instruments and sounds are lost in the translation, and it can cause the song to not be heard as it was intended. It's the biggest limitation with the digital format, and the reason vinyl did not, as predicted, die.

This phenomenon proves that LPs are still a viable media. For their clarity and richness, LPs are here to stay, even as a niche. However, all three (excluding the nearly-departed cassette) mediums are, despite their outward appearance of competition, complimentary to each other as all of them serve a specific purpose. LPs are great for their sound and, nowadays, nostalgia and novelty, but unless you want to listen to an entire album start to finish or go to the turntable after every song and try to find the hard-to-see "gaps" signifying the end of one track and the beginning of another, they're not practical.

CDs are great for making up those short-comings, and they're both recordable and portable, too. As any college kid or teenager can attest, road trips are naturally more fun with a stack of CDs; plus, they sound the best in a car since most car audio systems are built today specifically to account for the acoustics needed for CDs. Their drawback is while portable, they're not meant for physical activities like running, hiking, or anything involving great human exertion, since the CD, like the LP, can skip if mishandled.

MP3, while having the worst sound of the three, is the most convenient. You can have seemingly endless playlists with any combination of music you would like and, with a music player, take it anywhere you go. No need to worry about jogging too hard and causing a skip, as it's all digital now. But, what is gained in utility is lost in playback (as discussed above).

I own about 140 CDs and over 1400 MP3s (about 500 or so are from said CDs), and plan on investing in a turntable soon. Do I own any records? No, but with all the garage sales lately with people trying to make ends meet, I can help my fellow neighbors by taking their (gently-used) vinyl off their hands. Also, stores like FYE and Best Buy are getting back in the LP game, with a surprising amount of new titles available on vinyl. (However, buy local and support your local record store; Google it if you don't know where they are. They have great deals, up-to-date selections, and are super-knowledgable on all genres.) Personally, I will only buy LPs I know I would listen to in entirety, but that doesn't mean you should take my advice on that. Hell, if I find Rhythm of Youth for $1 somewhere, I'd spend it just to see if my friends really do dance.

Extolling Our Independence

So, yesterday was our Independence Day. It's a day when we celebrate becoming the first long-lasting democracy in the world since the Roman Republic was dissolved in favor of making Gaius Julius Caesar dictator perpetuo. Sure, there were other attempts at a government "by the people, for the people," or societies that had some qualities of democracy between 41 BC and 1776 AD, but none of them gave such broad freedoms* to every citizen† as the founding fathers eventually did. But contrary to popular opinion, the Declaration of Independence didn't give us our freedoms; it was more of a complaint-laden diatribe against His Highness, the mentally unstable George III of the UK, and why we needed to kick his government to the curb. The Constitution codified those "truths" we held "to be self-evident;" the Declaration was just the jumping point to plant the seeds of freedom.
(*-the right to vote limited to only White men 21+ years old until 1865 for all races, until 1920 for women, and until 1971 for 18+ year olds;
†-3/5 of a citizen if you were Black or Indian before 1865)

Obviously, freedom didn't come easy, nor was it free from speed bumps. It took a long time to get the hang of this "American experiment" known as a federal democracy. The original idea - and the core argument behind the Civil War - was each State had precedent over the central government; this philosophy was endorsed in the Articles of Confederation. Needless to say, that failed, as we have the Constitution today. Then, the southern states tried to persuade Washington that was still the original intent of the rewritten Constitution and its 10th Amendment:

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

South Carolina decided that meant if it's not covered in the Constitution explicitly it was up the States to decide (i.e., slaves and secession). Well, that really didn't turn out how Columbia thought it would when Abraham Lincoln called their bluff, did it? It took four years and over 600,000 lives, but the power of the Union - and of the Constitution - remained in tact. Also, an interesting caveat came of it; the formation of a new state from an existing one. West Virginia remains, to this day, the only state formed because of a war.

Maine and Kentucky, however, were carved out of existing states without bloodshed. Kentucky asked the Virginia Assembly and the US House for permission to form its own government and control its own destiny, and permission was given; Maine came about due to the Missouri Compromise so the "Slave States" and "Free States" had the same power in the Senate, but more-or-less, it was the same premise - state wanted self-determination and luck had it they were more needed than they thought. So, it has been done in US history; it's not an unprecedented events by any means, though it is hard to do for sure.

So, in that same spirit, why is it every time either South Jersey or South Florida talk of secession from their states, they are laughed off - by the governor himself, no less? These are people who are seriously expressing their displeasure with their governments and - in the case of South Jersey - how they are represented in the Assembly. Culturally and economically, they are a world away from their counterparts in the north and it's time for them to be allowed to govern themselves.

South Jersey constitutes the counties of (from north to south) Camden, Gloucester, Atlantic, Salem, Cumberland, and Cape May. (Side note: I would be tempted to include Burlington and Ocean counties, as well, but a friend of mine from Ocean County considers himself to be from "Central Jersey", and using that logic, the people from Ocean and Burlington would be less likely to vote for such a proposal.) South Jersey could make its temporary capital in Glassboro (since it has the foreign policy experience and the state university, as well as plenty of access to the rest of the new state with Route 55 and US 322), with a possible move in the future to a more-centrally located built-from-the-ground-up city in either Salem or Cumberland counties.

South Florida, though different from some proposals, would be from the following counties southward: Citrus, Sumter, Lake, Seminole, Orange, and Brevard. The capital pro tempore would need to be either Port Charlotte or Vero Beach, as not to give any one city a political advantage over another (which is why Tallahassee was chosen, even though it is over 600 driving miles from its furthest in-state city, Key West). At some point, a new capital would need to be built more centrally - like near Lake Placid - but only when infrastructure could support it.

Now is the time to rise up and push these movements to fruition. The French didn't let the monarchy run them forever, the Mexicans didn't stay under Spanish rule, and the Indians threw the British out of their land. On this Independence Weekend 2009, let's exhibit the most basic of fundamental human rights, it's the first one they thought of when amending the Constitution: the freedom to protest peacefully. Remember, as Thomas Jefferson once said, "When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty." Let's help the government remember that - non-violently, of course; I'll never condone that - in a democracy, we're in control. We want our own states and will do what we can to get them! Enough of being North Jersey's bitch and North Florida's bankroll! It's our time - it's our turn!

OK, if you read through my political rhetoric that long, you deserve a reward. Happy Independence Day everyone!

Insane in the Membrane

President Barack Hussein Obama is a murderer! The man who ran on a campaign of "peace" and "change" took an innocent life - on film, no less! - and laughed as the carcass of his fallen enemy lain there on the carpet. No trial, no jury, no judge. He was the law at that moment, and because this harmless being simply "got on his nerves", he slew the helpless fool in cold blood. He could have at least imprisoned and then set him free, but no; Obama said, "Damn the Constitution!" and took its life. This man is deplorable and should be executed.

That's what our resident whack-jobs over at PETA what you to think, anyway. Why now, you ask? Oh? Did you not see the footage? Well, let me show you:



That's right, ladies and gentlemen; your president, the one (don't debate me on this statement, I don't wanna hear it on this post!) doing his best to clean up the mess both George W. Bush and Bill Clinton put us in is being accused, not of the typical, "left-wing liberal commie" crap, but killing an "innocent" fly by your friends at the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. My, oh my, talk about an organization that has lost its meaning.

PETA was started in 1980 as an organization dedicated to make sure four key things were monitored: 1.) Hollywood didn't mistreat animals, 2.) the fur trade was stopped, 3.) animal testing was either humanely done or stopped altogether, and 4.) farm animals were kept out of deplorable conditions. However, since the beginning, their methodology on safeguarding their core values has always been controversial. Throwing paint on fur coats, harassing lab workers in the streets, and suing movie lots are just some of the stunts this group has performed.

Once they realized this garnered them attention (like they say, bad publicity is better than none at all), they started to expand into the realm of the absurd, like suggesting fishing is the same as sticking a hook in your dog's eye, or eating beef is equivalent to dining on a monkey. They have even chastised sports athletes such as Shane Victorino for eating Spam, a much-maligned (yet pretty decent if cooked right) food considered a staple in his native Hawaii. But now, I can truly say I've seen it all.

They are sending President Obama a "humane fly trap" so he can catch the annoying pest that is known to carry diseases such as typhoid, cholera, and dysentery, and release it back into the wild. They said he should not "glorify" the killing of any creature and, as a role-model, should "know better."

(Before I continue, I want to point out I'm not at all against "animal rights" - thought I don't like that term. I love dogs and cats, and nothing should ever happen to them, such as beatings, over breeding, and even neglect; it breaks my heart to see that. However, there are some animals humans have used as food for 10,000 years, and until the last 150, did it humanely. I agree that furs from chinchillas shouldn't be harvested simply for a coat; the whole chinchilla should be used, either as dog food or helping to feed the homeless. Same thing goes for seal pelts and any other creatures that are useful to everyone. Over-harvesting is bad, too, and that should be monitored, or some animals will go the way of the dodo. But don't bitch at me for eating venison or call me a "murderer" because I have an ivory chess set. So long as it's done in an ecologically-sane and humane manner, we're the top of the food chain and we have every right to act that way.)

So, here's a solution I think most people can agree with: because there is a major over-population issue with this planet (6.4 billion and growing) and we're trying to rid ourselves of the idiots roaming around, why not round up every card-carrying member of PETA and anyone who believes their BS, put them all on some secluded island out in the Atlantic that no one lives at now, and drop a nuke on them. Solves three issues: 1.) reduces the population, 2.) gets rid of whack jobs, and 3.) shows countries like North Korea and Iran what actually happens with a nuke (since they apparently didn't study WWII history and forgot about Hiroshima and Nagasaki) and that we're not afraid to use it again.

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I'll leave you on a happier, less depressing shameless plug. This one is brought to you by my man Hopper, who is writing his first-ever-paid movie column today. Show him some love and go check it out! It's about Hollywood's latest comedy, Year One, and since it has Jack Black, you know it's going to be a tongue-in-cheek, witty, intelligent comedy. Now, if you're in St Pete, get out there and enjoy this beautiful morning before it turns oppressive later today. Word is, it's supposed to be 96° again today, with a heat index approaching 110°. Hope the A/C's working at your place! And if you're in Philly right now, don't forget your umbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh, cause it looks like it's gonna be on-and-off rain today. Stay cool/dry out there today!

Low-Speed Hijinx

Greetings and salutations, everyone! Enjoy the Rays complete and utter domination over De La Rosa last night? Well, here's a little surprise for you out there who thought you'd never see this: Pat Burrell will (most likely) start in right tonight! Going 11-16 against tonight's starter for the Rockies, Aaron Cook, will kinda make you all that more valuable. Considering he's fresh from rehab and sporting the new porn-star goatee (which I will get a pic of...promise!), it hopefully will be a sign of things to come. David Price is on the mound tonight, hoping to rebound from a win that was more ugly than some losses I've seen (while only getting a 2.37 ERA, he threw 105 pitches in only 4 1/3 innings and giving up 6 walks, though he did have 6 Ks, too). He, like Pat the Bat, will come around in time, I'm sure.

So, did you hear? SEPTA, our friendly neighborhood mass transit system up in Philly (more like the TBARTA will be than PSTA is) looks like it was the butt of a joke recently, and they seem none too thrilled. According to today's Inquirer, sometime overnight the pranksters placed a sign - of high-quality and pretty authentic-looking, I might say - with the following text on many of SEPTA's main routes:


Courtesy: DesignPhiladelphia

"The Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority (SEPTA) is committed to providing non-discriminatory transportation services to all of its passengers, including schizophrenics, drug addicts, Irish Catholics, hipsters, homos, prostitutes, gentrifying transplants, raging maniacs, tourists, obnoxious Penn students, corner boys, pimps, drunk rich kids who still think Old City is cool, and terrified suburbanites who tremble with unease at the sight of everyone.

"Any person who is or seeks to be a patron of any SEPTA public vehicle shall be entitled to the same depressing experience of loud cell phones, obese people eating McDonalds, parents telling their toddlers to "Shut the Fuck Up!", and a constant inch-deep layer of urine-soaked trash and debris.

"No person or group of persons shall be discriminated against on any grounds with regard to routing, scheduling, or quality of transportation service furnished by SEPTA, with the following exceptions - race, color, socioeconomic status, and proximity to the suburbs.

"Any person who has experienced a cleaner, more efficient, more extensive, and better managed public transportation system in the U.S. (e.g. most if not all) can feel free to notify SEPTA about potential improvements, which shall promptly be ignored."

Apparently, these jokers have been practicing for a while, because they were able to get these pretty large signs up and under the protective glass where the advertisements usually peer upon said groups. Keep in mind I'm not easily offended, but from a practical joke standpoint, that was pretty damn funny! I can see why SEPTA would be offended, but let's face it; if they'd clean up the problems they're being lampooned over in the first place, this wouldn't be nearly as comical. But anyone who's ridden the El knows what I'm talking about: it's funny because it's true!

I'm not saying it's a bad thing, mind you, because those groups listed make it a diverse and interesting ride. In fact, I can't wait until TBARTA (God, I hope they change the name; that's a mouthful!) gets going and I can experience the atmosphere it will showcase. You really can't experience a region's true identity until you've taken a trip on its mass transit system, and seeing as we have really nothing here in Tampa Bay - except for sketchy, local bus-only companies like PSTA, HART, PCPT - tourists not only don't get the full extent of our rich culture and heritage, but they also get nowhere fast without renting a car.

(Side note and shameless plug for a fellow blogger: to get the full extent of what a mass transit system means to a region, check out the great piece my man Brad Maule over at PhillySkyline.com did on SEPTA and the Independence Pass. It gives you an idea of what I mean about mass transit showcasing the culture - both really good and brutally honest - of an area. Great work on that, Brad and the rest of the gang over there!)

So, do I think the "rapscallions" who did this deserve to be punished? If only for vandalism - since it is private property - and not anything regarding their "potentially offensive" language. Are they right about it? In a broad aspect, yes, but not to the level they took it. Is it hysterical? Abso-freakin-lutely! If I ever saw them on a train down here doing that, I wouldn't help them, but you're damn right I'd cheer them on! Everyone needs a good laugh once in a while, even at the expense of your self-dignity. Nothing's funnier than pointing out your own flaws, trust me.

Alright, kids. Two games tonight at the same bat times as last night, but different bat channel for the Phils - only outside the Delaware Valley and Greater Toronto, however - who play the Blue Jays (which, besides being a Phils phan, needs them to win so the Rays can take sole possession of 3rd) at 7:05 on ESPN (CSN in Philly, SNET in Toronto). The Rays play the Rockies again @ 8:40 EDT on Sun Sports in Tampa Bay/FSN in Denver. Speaking of the Mile-High City, if youre in the area, don't forget to get your free meal from Johnny's New York Pizza and Pasta Store in Lakewood; just wear your Rays blue & gold today only to get dinner on the house. Talk of food's making me hungry...you think they deliver to St. Pete?

- Big thanks goes out to Kevin Derrick over at DesignPhiladelphia for the SEPTA sign pic!

Jumping In Head-First: A Primer

Alright, it looks like it's time to join the rest of the blogosphere and leave behind the random ramblings I posted on MySpace and make it happen on a more visible, "socially-acceptable" service. The reason I say it that way is because a friend of mine was dissuaded from reading my past rants and diatribes simply because it was on that site. There's nothing wrong with that train of thought, mind you, as I haven't been on MySpace in a while, and I've noticed a lot of my friends haven't, either. So, at some point, I'll migrate them over here for your viewing pleasure. You can see that they were helping me with an apparent evolution of my writing from - in retrospect - relatively crude and unrefined to...well, you be the judge.

I'm sorry, I didn't even introduce myself properly. My name's Jimbo and I'll be your MC for what I hope will be one of your bookmarks. If not, then I'll know for certain that I suck at writing and I'll go back to road tripping, which I know I'm good at. I'm a no-holds-barred kind of person and I expect, and look forward to, comments and discussions in the same light. I'm not easily offended, and because of that, I probably will offend unintentionally. Remember it's purely unintentional and I'll buy you a beer later to show you I still like you.

The topics discussed on this small slice of cyberspace will be like my personality: random, yet passionate. As the title implies, it'll do mainly with the goings-on of both my home region, the Delaware Valley, and the my current biosphere, Tampa Bay. Nothing is off-limits: sports, politics, happenings, history, and some broader topics, like music and national/international issues that affect us all. I know what you're thinking: "Jesus, not another one of these wackos that think he needs to be heard since the Adriana Huffington's and Perez Hilton's of the world got famous from it!" And you would be right. I mean, would anyone give a crap about any blogs at all if it wasn't for them (amongst better countless others), as reviled as they may or may not be, would the weblog be as popular as it is today? But am I doing this to be rich and famous? Hardly, as there are much easier ways: robbing banks and being a high-class mack/madam in large cities come to mind. I'm doing it for the same core reason each and everyone of us does this: because we can. Who said philosophy had to be complicated?

Here's where I have to give credit where credit is due, so you can skip to the next paragraph if you're not listed (warning: I'm just listing their nicknames - in no particular order, just the order I think of them - so no sappy emotional stuff needed nor warranted; I didn't just win a Grammy®, after all):
My Mom, who's a lot like Eileen Ripley, heroine of the Alien Quadrillogy
Hopper
Rabid Nick/Impoetry
B-Love
Richie Poo
Zombie Princess
Tonilicious
Becky
and anyone else I may have missed

That should about cover it today. Your MC has to leave for work soon, but he encourages you to watch both the Rays beat up the oh-my-God-can't-anyone-euthanize-them-and-spare-their-misery Nationals in St. Pete and the Phils and Red Sox slug it out yet again on South Broad Street; both games are on at 1:35pm today, so get your picture-in-picture ready and root, root, root for your home team - whichever one it may be. For me, I'm still debating that dilemma in my head.